This one is a prequel to the hit Star Wars spoof Spaceballs.
- Gold Starr: Lone Starr's father and mentor to Mervyn Saturnia. Has a laid-back, easy-going, almost hippie-like attitude, but he is quite skilled with the Schwartz. Almost always wears a red shirt with his signature gold star on it. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
- Mervyn Saturnia: A kid who mysteriously appeared as an infant on Saturnia XVII, hence his name. When he is not practicing his Schwartz skills, he is searching for some way to find out who his parents were. He ends up becoming Dark Helmet (see below).
- Yogurt: A wise old sage who founded the Order of the Schwartz centuries ago. Mentor to thousands of great warriors, including Gold Starr. Besides the Schwartz Knights, he has a team of hooded Jawa-like creatures (called "Dinks" after the only word in their language) to help him with stuff.
- Barf: A Mawg (half-man, half-dog) that follows Gold Starr wherever he goes. He is almost always eating something, and when anyone tears him away from his food, he goes berserk. Acts as a love counselor to Gold Starr and Sophie. He lives on the planet Mawgia.
- Spitz: A half-man, half-frog creature that used to be King Bruppus's Royal Boob, until he got fired for saying a curse word in his language. He rarely appears, except when things are looking grim and everyone needs a good laugh. He talks like Borat.
- Princess Sophia: Gold Starr's fiancee. It is never revealed what planet she hails from. She loves Gold Starr with a passion. The only problem is, neither side of the Schwartz permits marriage. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
- President Thorndyke/Lord Dark Makeup: President of Planet Spaceball, he is the only remaining Dark Schwartz Lord. Constantly planning ridiculous evil plots against Gold Starr, all of which fail. Wields a double-bladed Schwartz blade, most likely a homage to Darth Maul. Near the finale, he invents the DNA Scanner, so he can bribe Mervyn into joining the downside of the Schwartz. Gets killed in the Final Duel.
- Vice President Skroob: Vice President of Planet Spaceball. He is, even more conspicuously than in the movie, a total imbecile. A running gag is that he listens to an iPod repeatedly, usually one of the songs "Raise Your Hands" by Bon Jovi or "(Got a) Holiday in My Head" by Smash Mouth. Promoted to President after Thorndyke's death.
- The Pingpong V-Force: A team of color-coded elite Pingpongs, a homage to Power Rangers. They consist of the following:
- V-Force Red: The leader of the PVF. He uses a sword, but mostly relies on hand-to-hand combat, and is skilled in Kun Gek Do.
- V-Force Black: The weapons expert. He uses a giant nunchaku as his weapon.
- V-Force Blue: The nerd of the team. He uses two sai as his weapons.
- V-Force Yellow: The biggest eater on the team. He uses a big cannon as his weapon.
- V-Force Pink: The only female member. Has a romantic relationship with Red. She uses a bo staff as her weapon.
- V-Force Robo: The PVF's giant robot that they use for mass destruction. It parodies the various Megazords from Power Rangers.
Pop culture references
- Spitz is a parody of Jar Jar Binks.
- Skroob's behavior parodies Yes Man from Kappa Mikey at times (for instance, if Dark Makeup says, "And now Gold Starr, it is time for you to die," Skroob will say, "Die! Die! DIE!!").
- On his iPod, Skroob frequently listens to "Raise Your Hands", the song Barf dances to while eating ice cream in the original movie.