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Misery and Madness

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Author: John.mitchell.9210256

This fanfiction is the first story based around a crossover couple I made known as Klaus Baudelaire X Aya Drevis; AKA, Klaya/Ayaus.

Chapter 1: Asking Her Out

A 20-year old man in a navy blue sweater over a white collared shirt with lime green trousers, rounded bifocals, and orange-and-gray sneakers walked out of a British automobile. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and nearly pale skin along with a book in his arm and a rose in his hand. His name was Klaus Baudelaire and he walked up to the residence of our lead lady in this story you're reading. He gave 3 knocks and it was answered by a woman named Alice Liddell. She was in a blue dress with striped stockings, a bloody apron, long leather boots, and she had rusty red-and-brown hair with green eyes. No she's not the leading lady I spoke of.

"Hello there, Klaus," Alice greeted. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Hello to you too, Alice," Klaus greeted back. "Is Aya Drevis home?"

"Yes, down in the basement practicing surgery," Alice directly answered.

"Thank you," Klaus said. He went down the steps and then knocked on the door to the lab. Aya (yes, she's the leading lady; semi-spoiler) then heard it and said "Coming!" as she opened the door. The 18-year old girl stood before Klaus in a navy blue dress, a white apron, white socks reaching up to her thighs with strapped slip-on shoes, a velvet red bow in her black hair with the bangs cut so she can see with her blue eyes, she also wore a doctor's coat that had blood from her surgery practice along with her bloody chainsaw that she used when she was 11, and her skin was paler than Klaus's.

"Klaus Baudelaire? What are you doing here?" Aya asked. She then saw the rose in his hand and figured out why.

"I wanted to ask you something," he answered as he held out the rose. Aya politely took the rose and smelled it.

"Ahh...nice to smell something aside from rotting meat and hemoglobin from the blood," Aya said. "So anyway, what did you want to ask me?"

"I wanted to know if..." Klaus scratched the back of his head akwardly with a slight tint of red in his face, "...if you would like to go on an afternoon picnic with me on Saturday."

Aya was a bit startled by the question as she felt her heart skip a beat with a tint of red to her face as well, pretty visible to her pale skin. "Do you mean like...on a date?"

"Sort of, yes," Klaus answered.

"Alright," Aya responded.

"Good," Klaus said, smiling. "How does 3:30 sound for you?"

"I guess that works for me," Aya answered with a smile. She leaned towards Klaus and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "See you later."

Klaus had walked out of the basement and back up to the foyer. He then exited the house and went back in the car with his new guardian, Dr. Stuart Ashen, who wore a business suit with a red tie and brown hair.

"So, how did it go?" Ashens asked.

"She said yes, Dr. Ashen," Klaus said. This shocked Stuart a bit since he wasn't the most lucky.

"Blimey," Ashens said to himself, "I'm actually quite frightened."

Chapter 2: That Saturday Afternoon...

Klaus was driven to the front door of the Drevis residence. He walked up to the door and gave 3 knocks.

"I'm coming!" Alice said, rushing to the door. "Oh, afternoon Klaus. I suppose you're here for Aya on your afternoon picnic on this Saturday."

"Yes I am," Klaus said, nodding.

"I'm here, no need to worry," Aya said, walking up from the stairs. Like Klaus, she was wearing her casual garb like yesterday (minus the blood-stained lab coat).

"Shall we go?" Klaus asked.

"Yes, please," Aya said. They walked over to a nearby forest. When they saw a nice spot, Klaus laid out the picnic blanket and set down the basket. Aya walked over and knelt on the blanket.

"What would you like on your sandwich?" Klaus asked.

"I would like lettuce and tomatoes with some cheese, please," Aya answered with a rhyme.

"Okay," Klaus responded. He prepared her sandwich and got her a napkin along with one for him and he made a sandwich of is own. He also snuck out a lobber he got from his sister in case any pests come to steal the basket like 5 years ago.

"So then, would you happen to like me Klaus?" Aya asked him. That question caused Klaus's face to turn a tint of red.

"W-well, yes," Klaus answered. Aya's face, in turn, turned a tint of red at the sound of his somewhat calm answer. "Do you?"

"Y-yes, actually," Aya answered truthfully. They resumed eating their sandwiches. Slenderman apparently teleported while he was trying to do his day shift of killing people when he saw the picnic over yonder.

"Odd," Slenderman said in a puzzled fashion. "Don't they know I might kill them? Bah, I've got bigger fish to fry." He then resumed going after the person containing a certain amount of the 8 pages.

After they finished their sandwiches and wiped their mouths, there was much akward silence between one another seeing as how they said they liked each other. Klaus attended to getting out a book and reading it like he usually does.

"You're not reading 50 Shades of Grey, are you?" Aya asked, curious to know what he was reading.

"No," Klaus answered, "I'm reading Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters."

"Oh, I like that book," Aya said with a small smile. She scooted over closer to Klaus, causing him to blush a little. She then read the book with him. Suddenly, a sillhouette appeared and knocked out Klaus. It was Ignatius Mortimer Meen (yes, he's the formidable villain of this tale).

"Oh look, a goodie-goodie!" he said, and then laughed. He grabbed her and took her to an anonymous location.

"Help! Klaus!" she screamed. Klaus woke up eventually only to find that Aya has been stolen by someone.

"Aya? Aya? Where is she?"

Chapter 3: Spontaneous Kidnappery

Klaus searched for her all over the forest and had no luck finding her. He then decided to call up Ashens to help him.

"Dr. Ashens here, how can I help you?" he asked.

"Dr. Ashens, I have a problem," Klaus told him. "Someone just kidnapped Aya after knocking me out cold!"

"Well, that's just rude! I can only presume it's some child molester. Could be...I.M. Meen. I'd better use God's Source Code." He typed up the following:

GOD SOURCE CODE v0.73

C:\>RUN GSC v0.73

Running program...successful

C:\>KLAUS=KNOWLEDGE OF PERP

A flash of light occured and Klaus then knew who kidnapped Aya.

"I.M. Meen! I can't believe it!" Klaus said. "I'm going to need to know where he is."

C:\>KLAUS=TO LOCATION OF I.M. MEEN

Klaus was then transported to a car, presumably driven by I.M. Meen The license plate read "IH8GDGDZ", so it could likely be him. To his surprise, nobody was in the car.

  • bang bang bang*

Klaus heard that banging and thought that I.M. Meen locked her in the trunk. He tried to get it open, but it was locked shut. Luckily, he used the lockpick for this endeavor.

  • click*

The lock was...unlocked now, of course. He then opened the trunk to find Aya Drevis tied up with a cloth over her mouth.

"Mmm mmph!" (translation: "Help me!") she screamed. "Mmm-mmph!" (translation: "Hurry!")

"Don't worry," Klaus said, "I read a book about untying knots. I just need to find the exact section that manages to have a clean pull and that should do."

He eventually found it after tugging at some of the "knot joints". He then removed the cloth from Aya's mouth.

"Oh, Klaus," Aya Drevis said clearly with tears in her eyes, "thank you for getting me out! It was horrible!" Klaus felt a bit weird as she clinged onto him in fear and cried.

"Don't worry, it's going to be okay," Klaus said to her as he held her. "Were you hurt?"

"Oh look, another bookworm," I.M. Meen said as he appeared in front of the couple. "Put her back in her cell!"

"Never," Klaus rejected.

"You will bow to me, you stupious little brat," I.M. Meen then shouted. "I am the most powerful magician in the world, and you're just a stupious little bastard!"

"No, I won't," Klaus said.

"Grrr, you are beginning to annoy me! I'll kill you now!"

I.M. Meen points his finger and generates purple and white sparks that charge a projectile. Klaus gets out the lobber and loads an egg into the scoop. I.M. Meen fires first, forcing Klaus to lob the egg. I.M. Meen is hit by the egg and suffers from the rotten odor and gross taste. Klaus, on the other hand, is knocked down and injured.

"Klaus!" Aya shouted. He laid before her holding his injured arm. Aya felt like having to attack I.M. Meen for payback, but she didn't have her mini chainsaw with her. She then helped Klaus up and walked him to I.M. Meen.

"Should I get out the smasher?" Aya said.

"Yes," Klaus said. "It's in my back pocket."

"Okay." She reached into his pocket with the realization that she touched the butt of her love interest. She then felt the handle of a fork and pulled out the smasher. She held it in front of Klaus, signaling for him to grab the crank. He twisted the crank as Aya held the fork part. After the 5th crank, he released it, bopping I.M. Meen. They then took him while he was out cold and locked him in the trunk, knowing he won't suffocate, he'll just be kept in there.

"What say we head back to the forest and get our stuff?" Klaus said.

"Okay," Aya said. They walked together to get their picnic supplements.

Chapter 4: Later that Night...

After grabbing their picnic supplements, and 8 pages as a requirement to find a way out of Slenderman's purgatorial forest, Klaus and Aya walked hand in hand growing closer and closer from best friends to a couple. There were words to describe the warmth and joy they felt at the moment as they held hands. Klaus did admire her, what with her raven black hair flowing gently in the wind with no bangs and a velvet bow, her indigo eyes twinkling in the night sky, her semi-snow white skin reminiscent of the fairy tale (obviously Snow White), it's all pleasent. Aya also admired Klaus just as much, what with his dark brown hair, his black framed bifocals, his white collar shirt under his sweater, again, all pleasent. They came across a phone booth to drop Ashens a line so he can come pick them up. However, Aya disconnected the call just after Klaus said hello.

"Aya?" Klaus said to her. He then asked her, "Why'd you do that?"

"Well," Aya said as she started to blush, "if I were to arrive home early and report the event that happened this evening I'd possibly be unable to go out in public again. Besides, you're having an injury at the moment."

"I've read a book on dealing with injuries, so I'm sure I know what to do."

"No, you don't understand. I..." tears started to form in her eyes, "I-I want to be with you a little longer."

Klaus was then shocked by what see said, receiving a blush like Aya. He never thought his luck would take a turn for the better ever since he decided to ask her out on a picnic. He's also sure this wasn't expected after she went around public ever since middle school.

"What do you...mean?" Klaus asked. She answered his question with a kiss on his forehead like she did earlier.

"That's what," Aya whispered, leading them into a thousand-mile staring contest. They then moved in close and then kissed each other on the lips. Klaus pulled her closer to his chest and deepened the kiss.

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